The day of my book release party finally arrived on Sunday, December 10. Rain started falling at about 11:00 in the morning, and I worried that people wouldn’t come because of the weather. Still, a loving team of half a dozen people transformed the Wendell Meetinghouse into the staged area I had imagined. Prayer flags flew from each corner. I sat in the south of the room in a comfy, easy chair next to my friend Shell, who was my emcee and interviewer. Books were sold at a table in the west, and two tables filled with food, wine, and cider were set up in the north. An overflowing altar in the east was filled with statues of Ganesha and Quan Yin, Chris’s wooden grails, and other ritual items. Moveable pews were placed in a semicircle around Shell and me with our backs to a screen where I later showed photos of scenes from the book.
Shell rang the singing bowl three times, and I walked to the altar, where I picked up one of Chris’s red pottery grails with a candle, which I placed on the floor between me and the audience, which numbered over fifty people. I asked people to stand so we could call in the directions and noted that this day was about gratitude for all the people who supported me in bringing my book to the world.
Shell asked me to talk about the structure of the book. I explained that there were three sections. The first, called “Preparation,” begins with the story of my mother’s death in a boating accident when I was thirteen and proceeds through my childhood, early life, education, first marriage, becoming a piano teacher and then therapist and Shalom retreat leader. This section ends with my marriage to Chris, and seven years later, we meet the shamanic teachers who changed our lives.
The second section, “On the Road,” covers leaving home in New Haven, our worldwide travels, and our practices with our shamanic teachers. The final section, “Going Home,” focuses on Chris’s sudden illness, his death, my grief, and the healing process that brought me back to life.
Within the three sections are four pillars that thread throughout the entire book. The first is the love story with my beloved soulmate Chris, a love story that continues even after death. The second focuses on stories illustrating what surrendering the outcome and following Spirit means. These stories take us through our travels after leaving home to go on the road and chronicle meetings with remarkable people, including Ram Dass and the Dalai Lama, and glorious adventures in nature. The third thread describes the practices we learned from our medicine teachers and the safe, respectful, and practical ways we integrated what we learned into our daily earthplane life. The final thread focuses on Chris’s strange fatigue, his death, my grief, and his healing into new life.
I chose to read six sections from the book. The first was the story of my wedding to Chris and the voice that forecasted our earthly separation. The second described our early days on the road, as we left the familiar behind and had to learn new skills. The third story was an excerpt from the chapter describing how I received the name Kai in a breathwork session.
After these three readings, I wanted to allow the audience to play. I asked them to find a partner, preferably one they didn’t know well. I said they had two minutes to tell their partner their name and whether they liked it or preferred other names. Then I asked them to say goodbye to this partner, find another, and share a story about an adventure. Once people started telling their stories, getting them back in their seats wasn’t easy, but eventually, I continued reading my stories.
The next story took Chris and me to the jungle Kauai, where we met the Indigo kids and were initiated into being elders. Then there was the adventure of taking Salvia Divinorum, and I found myself as a clown among clowns. Finally, I ended by reading about the ultimate gifts of my mother’s death when I was thirteen and how that event sent me on my path as a mystic.
At this point, I felt we had all had enough reading, and the audience was invited to feast on food and wine, and the celebration began.
I was grateful that my book’s birth into the world had been welcomed so lovingly.