How does dying before you die bring fulfillment to our lives? We all will die. Just as the cherry blossoms come and go, so will we. How can we live our lives to the fullest in these challenging times?
What does it mean to die before you die? When the Sufi poet Rumi urged us to die before we die, he wasn’t suggesting that we should literally allow our bodies to die over and over. Instead, he was inviting us to let go of all that no longer serves. Dying before we die is a process of letting go of our ties to the past and opening to the mystery of the unknown.
Our only true moment is the present moment. Ancient spiritual traditions counsel us to understand that everything is in constant flux. We are all changing and being changed. Nothing stays the same forever, and our attempts to hold on lead only to suffering. Yet, this universal truth is challenging for us living in a world so disconnected from the natural world.
In nature, we can observe the seasons’ cycles. We can watch the tender new birth of spring move into the lush abundance of summer. As fall comes, we watch the abundant, green earth gradually die as it moves into the slumber of winter.
Paradoxically, it is only by facing our deaths that we can truly live. The first step might be allowing the reality of death to enter our lives. Every morning, in my meditation, I say the Buddhist Five Remembrances.
I have not overcome illness; I am of the nature to get sick.
I have not overcome aging; I am of the nature to age.
I have not overcome death; I am of the nature to die.
All that l love, enjoy, and identify with will pass away.
All that I truly own are my actions and the consequences of those actions.
My friend Sara said that she thought these words were depressing. I, on the other hand, found comfort in these words.
Illness, aging, and death are not punishments. They are not failures on my part. They are part of the universal life cycle, each with gifts that are challenging yet critical to living fully. One of the chief reasons that we have so much anguish and difficulty facing death is that we ignore the truth of impermanence. Paradoxically, impermanence is the only thing we can hold on to.
Preparing for death includes letting go of our tight hold on who we are, what we believe, and how we want to live in this precious and short time we are allowed on this earth. It means letting go of seeing the world only through the centrality of our own egos and allowing ourselves to experience ourselves as part the larger world rather than being in charge of it. It means healing our wounds, concluding our unfinished business, releasing and forgiving the past, and learning to abide in Love.
In this way, when the moment of death comes, we will be ready, and we will have lived.